Cider

I’d rather drink cider than soda,
though cider, alas, makes me sadder,
sadder, but wiser,
when sozzled on cider,
though I’m often sold soda
by a pseudo-crusader
who never drinks alcohol –
someone forbade her.

She’s truly teetotal,
not teetering on it,
she tuts when I try to drink tots –
gets totally tetchy, it gets on her tits,
though the tots that I toss back
are truly quite titchy.
She does make me shudder –
well, sod her, I say!
I’d rather drink cider
any old day!

I’ll just add one coda:
I sometimes drink soda,
more often than Spiderman
test drives a Skoda.
I have to concede
soda’s not odious,
soda and I are on terms
quite harmonious.

But I’ll add one more rider:
I’d rather drink cider.
It’s a stimulant beverage
and that’s the decider
and so I consider it
sweeter than soda,
though it just doesn’t suit her,
it surely suits me –
I’d rather drink cider than soda,
you see.

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